A List of Soul Words

Home, Sweet Home

Home... what a small word that can encompass so many things. To me, it means a sense of belonging, a place where I am known, a place where I know how things work, a place where I can easily be with people I love. Home. It is a good place to be.

The trip home was fairly uneventful-- a little longer than planned but when it comes to planes, I am always glad when they take a long to fix something rather than hurrying. I walked into Winnipeg at 3:15am on the 3rd of August and was greeted by my dad who I had missed a lot. It was late so I decided to just head to my parents-- half hoping that the noise of me getting there would wake up my littlest siblings so that I would get to see them. :) I was in luck because Trishy woke up when I got there so I got a fantastic hug. It was so wonderful to see them again! Sharise, who was barely talking words when I left is now talking sentences. Mindy is a little feisty bundle of cuteness who has an opinion about how life should work when she is concerned. Ronin has started reading and is thrilled when he recognizes words. Trish is almost as tall as me!! Taylor has grown into a young lady even more than before. My nephew, Jeaxon, is walking and talking and singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star well enough that I can recognize it! (He is 16 months.)

Home is a good place to be. A place where I can be white and blend into a crowd. A place where I can easily make a meal by turning on a stove that has four elements rather than waiting for a jeeko with hot embers to cook my food. I made supper in 30 minutes the other day and thought of my friend, Ann, who spends hours out of her day cooking meals and preparing for them. It started me thinking of things that I have enjoyed in these first two weeks of being home. Now, before I list them, you have to know that, in most cases, I enjoyed how they were in Kenya as well. I enjoy both and noticing the differences and enjoying them deepens my appreciation for what I have when I have it.

Conveniences I enjoy...
... brushing my teeth with water from the tap rather than from a bottle
... walking to my bus stop at 9:37 am and catching a bus with a known, predictable bus route
... unlimited internet that doesn't cost extra to send or view pictures
... walking around and not being noticed
... knowing how to efficiently and effectively live (cook, clean, and the basics)
... not having to plan when to use the bathroom based on water availability
... opening a can of soup for lunch
... eating cheese
... being surrounded with things familiar
... my own room!!!!! and my own house!!!!
... speaking English without removing the slang or phrases that don't make sense when taken literally
... living by my schedule
... creating food and eating it with a variety of ingredients
... living beside a grocery store
... walking across the street and making cars stop
... driving-- and on the right side of the road
... blueberries, ice cream and yogurt with a little bit of cinnamon :) mmmmmm
... throwing clothes in a machine to be washed and walking away while it works
... baking things in an oven (no ovens in my Kenyan experience!)
... kitchen cupboards
... Pampered Chef chopper thing (so excited to use it again!!!)
... drinking water from a tap at whatever temperature I want
... recycling service that helps me feel a little better about the garbage I produce
... four way stop signs, traffic lights that are adhered to and walk signals
... wide open sidewalks with clear differentiation from traffic
... the breeze that blows on the Salter bridge
... familiar places and buildings-- even ones with no emotional significance

We live in such a wonderful place. We are blessed to call this place home. Actually, wherever you are reading this, you are blessed to call that place home. I am sure that each of us could come up with a list just as long of the little things that we enjoy in our life. You should try it-- even just thinking about the basics (food, hygiene, transportation) has given me a good feeling inside. :)

That's all for now. I am working on getting pictures on here but I have quite a few to look through.

A Final Blog from Kenya

Thirty six hours from now, I will be waiting in the Nairobi airport, waiting to board my plane. WOO HOO! I am so excited to go home.

I have had little to do this week because I finished up the projects I was working on and couldn't start any new ones. I worked a little at the school, but the kids were all writing their final term exams which meant I couldn't do any teaching. I have been metering out the work that I need to do so that every couple hours, I will have something meaningful to do :) It has been a good week, though. I successfully went to Nairobi and picked up the newest volunteer (another one from Spain) and got her back here safe and sound.

I had a dream last night that my family had a huge family gathering at Superstore to cut costs. It was kinda funny-- but I was so happy to see everyone as I wandered the milk isle and saw all the lawn chairs. Dreams are weird things. But, I can't wait to see everyone in real life-- probably not in superstore.

I was going to write a big long blog about how people are people (I am sure it would have been profound! :) ), but I am too antsy to form comprehensive thoughts on the subject so that will have to wait until I am home.

Talk to you soon!

One week and counting...

Well, I am so packed of greetings for all my family and friends and church at home after today! Today was my last day at church here and they all wanted me to send many, many greetings and blessings and their love to all my friends and family at home. It is cool that everyone here loves you because they love me. And, they wanted me to say that you are all welcome to visit here :)

I was privileged to witness something beautiful today. To back up a bit, in the last half of this week some of the volunteers have been connecting with the street kids. It started with 2 or 3 and then we met those ones and more came. On Thursday, we introduced 11 street boys to Samuel. We gave them some bread, which they veraciously devoured, and some bananas (and tried to keep the peace and they tried to grab from each other) and just chatted with them. Being a muzungu (white person) gave us a platform to hold their attention that we wouldn't have had if we were African. Samuel talked to some of them and arranged for their leader, a personable young man named Jeremiah, to collect more little ones from the streets and meet at the tranport stage on Saturday. They met and then arranged for them to come to church today. Little steps at a time... This morning, 21 boys walked into church. They were welcomed, said their names and even sang a song, and then sat down. The volunteers spent the morning playing with them and giving them more bread and the hope was to visit some of the younger ones homes to see if they can come to school. Unfortunately, the weather turned cold and wet so that wasn't possible, but even having them come to church means they know one place in town where they are welcome. They know that these people love them and want them, even if they can't fix all their problems.

It is a hard reality that there is no program for the older boys right now, so they will stay on the streets. Ones heart yearns to take each one and give him what he needs so that he can see his value and realize his potential. Most of them are educationally at early primary level and you just can't have 15 year old boys in Nursery class. As it is, one of them has been attending Chazon this term and is 12 but in Nursery. He is a small boy though and only looks 8.

But for me, I know it is a big step on a slow journey. Most, if not all, of them are addicted to glue (which they hide in the collar of their clothes for easy access), are used to trusting few people, and always need to fend for themselves. Life here is hard without food or family-- desperately hard.

One a different note-- ONE MORE WEEK AND I HEAD HOME!!!! I am very ready to leave-- it has been a long five months and I am anxious to see my family and friends. I hope these next days fly by and next Sunday at 11:35 pm comes super fast. This week, school closes, so my ability to organize will come in handy. I will also try heading to Nairobi by myself to pick up a volunteer- something I haven't done yet. On Saturday or Sunday, I will head to my friends in Nairboi who have been holding on to my large suitcase for me and then it is home I go.

I can't wait to see you all! Although, if you ask me 'how was Africa?' you will probably get a blank look because it is impossible to sum up my experience here in words. :) Haiti took me years to process, and I have still recently learned what I learned there and it was almost 10 years ago! I am sure my experience here will be the same.

See you soon!

Tata Peepee, ice and other fun stuff

So I am sitting in the office at Chazon Children's Centre being on call for Lucy as she learns to work on the budget spreadsheet that I have created. But, since she is already pretty computer savvy, I have little to do so blogging it is. The view here is amazing- I wish a picture could capture it. Once I get home with better internet, I will upload some pictures and show you what it is like.

The impossible has happened- at least, I thought it was impossible. The weather here has been cold enough to get hail! Sheesh- why did I come to be here for the coldest season!? Anyways, I was so excited that there was ice in Kenya. I grabbed some in my hand and excitedly and incredulously went to show Samuel. "Samuel, there is ICE!" "Yeah- we call that hail." He calmly replied. So apparently it isn't quite as unusual as I thought. I never imagined it would get this cold here. I sleep in layers with four blankets and walk around wrapped in blankets. I am looking forward to the summer sun of Winnipeg- I hope it doesn't rain all of August!

I have now heard the second most interesting rendition of my name. The first is from my little sister when she was just learning to talk- she endearingly called me 'titty.' I definitely got weird looks from that one! Now, Jemima (almost 2) is experimenting with words and trying to mimic a lot of words. So, now I am Tata Peepee. (Tata is Aunty in Kiswahili.) Her and I have gotten along great. I have taught her a couple of fun things to do- like give me kisses on my cheek with the emphasis being on the sound effects- so now I regularly get my face grabbed and brought to her lips and then she goes 'mmmmmmwwwwwwwwwwwwwah!". It is quite cute. She loves having facial contact and will just sit with her face smushed against mine.

I am spending the week at Lucy's mom, which is in the middle of the town of Molo. It is a nice change. I have had a lot of responsibility for organizing volunteers and food and stuff which means that, in my mind, I am always 'on call' to help people or do something. It is hard for me to relax at all when I think that I might have something to do. So, it is nice to not have responsibilities too much and have my own space for a week. Next week, I will head back to Lucy's for my last week and a half here.

Last Sunday, I was invited to Margaret's house. She is the lady from the church I am attending who gave me the same Kikuyu name as her and, even though she speaks little English and I speak even less Kikuyu, through smiles, hugs and hand shakes, we have bonded. She has been saying from the beginning that she wanted to have me over for chicken (which is a luxury) so finally we arranged- my goodness, what good food! She got her older son up at 3 am to make chapattis for us and we had several other veggie dishes and chicken. She is such a wonderful lady! Tonight, I have been invited to one of the teachers house for chapattis again and am excited to see where she lives. I don't really like that me being white makes it so that these people feel famous because I have been there, but I think that these two ladies actually like me because I am me more than because I am white.

Well, I have run out of things to say. I should go and run around with some children or something so that I warm up! Sheesh, it is cold here! See you soon!

A Countdown and Trip to Market

Time is a weird thing, ya know? Like sometimes it feels super slow and other times it feels super fast. My departure date has felt like forever away and all of the sudden, I am realizing that my time is in the countdown stage. Three more Sundays at church. Three more Thursdays to eat Chapatti. Fifteen more school days. Four more volunteers to arrive and get settled. Now is when it will go fast. But, even though I am having a great time, I am looking forward to being home. Looking forward to relearning how to speak English smoothly and not eliminating slang and big words. Looking forward to being in a group of people with all of us speaking English. Looking forward to seeing my little siblings and family again- little kids get big when you are gone for five months! I wonder what I will miss most from here. Probably the plethora of role models who show me how to live a life more accepting of others and assuming the best- that will be a hard skill for me to keep up once I am not surrounded by it anymore. The whole culture here is like that-- hopefully it has rubbed off as much as I wanted it to. If could somehow find a way to express the difference it makes in a culture to assume that someone is doing the best they can and enjoying them without expectations, it could change the world! So many people look at Kenya and other less developed nations and see all the ways that they are 'behind'- technology, industry, economy. But very few people look to see where they are ahead.

I have almost finished a budget spreadsheet for Chazon Children Centre- I have been working on it on and off for a couple weeks now. I am also still spending a lot of time organizing volunteers. I am not a huge fan of the authority role that this puts me in because the people who come are my peers, but I also understand that it is really helpful for Lucy and Samuel to have someone coordinating meals, beds, picking up volunteers, work schedules and that sort of things. Next week, I am going to spend a week with Lucy's mom, who lives a little closer to the Centre. It will be good to be somewhere different and have a time where I am not the 'go to' person. I find that as soon as I feel that someone has expectations of me, I not only have to meet them, but also exceed them otherwise I think I have failed.

I walked to market a couple weeks ago and composed a blog in my head about the experience. And then I didn't write it down. But I will try and remember all the things that I had thought of. Market days are Wednesday and Saturday, although fresh veggies, fruit and various kiosks are open all week. I left Lucy and Samuel house with grungy shillings in my pocket off to buy sweet potatoes for breakfast on Sunday morning. Within about three minutes of walking, my whiteness has been spotted and I hear cries of 'Ha warue?' and various other pronunciations of 'how are you?' from children playing in their yards or people working in their fields. Some days I ignore the constant cries, other days I muster a smile and a wave and sometimes, although it is getting rarer, I engage in the conversation. Within a twenty minute walk, I will be greeted around 20 times- by all ages of people. On this particular sunny day, I was feeling more personable than normal and responded to many of the children- especially the little ones. As my feet tried to pick the smoothest path on the mud dirt road leading from Lucy's house to the main road, I notice the flowers around. My newest favorite are the orange ones whose bunching reminds me of lilacs. I breathe in the fresh countryside air and try and count the different bird calls. Soon, I reach a paved road- now I have to pay a little more attention. As only a pedestrian- bicycles, motorbikes, and any vehicle has right of way. The road is strewn with pot holes large enough to break an axle on many vehicles, so the should has now become 'road' and I walk along the grass a little higher up. Along the way, there are a couple really cute kids who always call out to me when I go by. I wave, which sends them into giggles, and continue on. Once I get closer to the post office (which is where I turn onto the main road), I relax less and gear up to be inundated with people noticing me and wanting me to sell something.
The motorbikes- 'Sister, sister. Where are you going? Come with me. I will give you good price!”
The vegetable sellers- “Njoki- buy some tomatoes. Why not?”
The children- “Muzungu! Muzungu! Hawarue!!!”
I know the place where Lucy buys sweet potatoes so I walk down the road to close to the railroad tracks and find her. She speaks a little English and asks my name. It goes something like this...

“What is your name?”
“My name is Vicki. My Kikuyu name is Wangui.”
“Oh, Wang... WANGUI!?” (at this point all five ladies errupt in laughter that this white chick has a Kikuyu name)
“And my Kamba name is Mwende.” (This is not so funny since they are not Kamba- at least I doubt it)
“Wangui! (laughter)”
“Yes, I have come to buy sweet potatoes. I need two bunches”

This lady seems to sell very few types of veggies. The sweet potatoes are resting on a white sack, arranged carefully in piles of five- like pyramids. She looks through them, finding the ones best for me (I have no idea what the criteria are!) and finds the ones she wants. After putting two bunches in a bag that is almost breaking before you start carrying because the plastic is so weak, she grabs a couple more small potatoes and tops it up. I love that personal feel. All five ladies wish me well with smiles and limited English and I am on my way back home. I walk quickly until I am less conspicuous and back on the dirt roads. The scenery is beautiful and it feels like I am always noticing a new thing to see. The hills look different in the sun or when it is cloudy. And then I am home and life goes on. I will miss the peopleness of this place. The focus is on people. People relating. People living. People just being. People loving. People hurting. It is raw and real. It is uninsulated. It is non judging. It is beautiful.

On a more personal note, for those of you who think of me every once and awhile and want some specific prayer requests, here are a couple that I am struggling with.
1.On a practical note, I have no job, no specific passions to follow and no vision. I live by following passions and I don't remember the last time I didn't have one to follow. Pray for passion, which will lead me to a job (hopefully).
2.My insecurities that I thought were dealt with have flared up again. I have had several dreams while I have been here where people are telling me how disappointed they are in me. My perceptions of situations and relationships are wrong, and I know it, but my subconscious is extremely insecure, it seems. Dreams like that set me off emotionally for a couple of days usually. Pray that I will find security that lasts through storms and propels me forward.

Thanks to you all for your support while I have been here. I am thoroughly looking forward to rejoining my community and being home again. God has been faithful and I am looking forward to whatever comes next because it really could be anything (and trying to have a little faith so that I don't get intimidated by the unknown).

See you soon!

Indian Ocean Adventures and Daily Organizaiton

Habari yako? ("How are you" in Kiswahili)

It has been a long time since I wrote- I find it hard to find things to write about once life becomes smooth and routine. I am still in Molo working at Chazon Children’s Centre. I arrived here at the beginning of May and have decided to stay here for the duration of my stay.

My love for organization has served me well and I have been spending most of my time organizing things or events. They just installed some shelving in the office and staff room so I spent time organizing textbooks, files, supplies and all sorts of stuff that had previously been stored all over the place. The result is very satisfying.  Another thing that has taken up a lot of time has been communicating with the volunteers that are coming over the next four months. The volunteer that was here before me wrote on some Spanish forum and that has resulted in almost 20 people coming to volunteer here!! Right now there are three volunteers- within a week; we will be up to 8 and then steadily increasing from there. Lucy (the director) and I have been brainstorming ways to organize everyone, find places to sleep and all sorts of fun.

I just got back from a vacation on the coast today- it was incredible! I spent the last 10 days checking out the coast. I had such a relaxing time in the sun, eating delicious food, jumping waves in the Indian Ocean and – my favorite- scuba diving! I got to spend an hour in the water swimming around a coral reef. It is amazing the beauty that rarely gets seen. I also find that the more I understand and see the intricacies of nature, the more passionate I am about protecting it. I stayed at a place that promoted responsible tourism so the guides I was with were very careful about not touching anything. I even got to see a turtle!! They are so majestic under the ocean. I had no idea how long their flippers are- they are like wings!

All in all, I am doing really well. A little tired due to a sleepless night on the bus from Mombasa to Nairobi, but that is just surface. My sense of peace is more pervasive than it was when I got here. I am learning to continually remind myself that I need to trust that God is faithful to lead me where He wants me and then just rest in that. The family I am staying with are fantastic and have been a huge part in modeling resting and being at peace with yourself to me.

My time here is coming to an end—only one month left!! It is weird how time has gone so slow yet flown as well. It feels like I have been here forever and haven’t seen Canada in forever, but at the same time, days are flying by! I have no idea what I am going to do once I get home—but I have a month left to relax and just be. The sky is the limit, I guess. 

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful men who make fantastic Father’s.

Loving Life and Driving Through Zebras

Jambo!

It feels, once again, like a long time since I wrote on here! I have been thinking all week what to write about, but life here has settled into normal so there is less to write about.

I love life here. I love sharing the walking paths with cows- it is always interesting to see which ones expect me to get out of the way and which ones make way for me. All the animals are really calm here- probably because most of the people are calm- and you often see really little kids, maybe five years old, herding a bunch of really big cows along the roadside. I love seeing all the ingenuative ways that people use a motorbike- I saw a couch balanced and tied on the back of one the other day. Other times it is stacked high with bread or firewood or crates of chickens. I love walking and smelling the greenness of everything. After two years of drought, this year has brought many rains! So much so that it is getting to be too much. Flooding in other parts of the country has claimed 90 lives so far and there have been several major mud slides. The government has no money to help the people so 10s of thousands have been displaced and are walking around with their children and their possessions on their back until they find a place to stay. But in Molo, things get really wet, but the rain has been good. I love starting to hear my name called as I walk around and am recognized by one of the 150 kids at the school or some of the ladies from church. I love to sit with Lucy and Samuel and be part of their family every evening. I love the respect for each person that allows and celebrates personhood, even if it doesn’t ‘fit’ into normal, that I am trying to absorb as much as possible. I love eating bread with margarine every morning with a hot cup of tea. I love walking up the hill and being so high that I can see all around me and seeing all the tiny farms in the distance and enjoying the beauty of it all. I love the diversity in flowers and birds here (bird watching never made sense to me in Canada!). All in all, life is good.

My time here is going quickly, which is a first for being in Africa. Up until now, time has crawled and it felt like I had been here six months when it was only two. I am able to do computer work and organization at Chazon Children’s Centre, which is amazingly fun for me. They are putting up shelves next week in the office and the staff room so then I will also get to help organize those!! I finally feel like I am doing something that is using my talents and something where I can be productive. We are starting to prepare for a whole lot of volunteers coming this summer so I am working on the orientation manual and stuff like that. Lucy and Samuel are really good at making me feel like I am part of CCC, rather than just visiting.

I am thinking at this point that I will stay here at Chazon until I head back for home. It seems like there is enough work for me to keep busy and I fit here. I am going to head to Mombasa in a week or so to see something different and swim in the Indian Ocean. I went to Nairobi two weeks ago and on the way, I got to see zebra, right up beside the road! It was beautiful. I also went with Lucy’s sister to visit the volcano crater in a near by town and went to the entrance of a national park where I got to stand among baboons and monkeys. They are so fascinating to watch! I have a lot of cute pictures of the babies being carried around on the backs of the mothers. I got to see a lake in the distance with shores that were pink because of the flamingos that migrate there.

I have to laugh at myself- I keep thinking I am living in the mountains, but they are only hills. I was talking to Ronin this week for his birthday and I told him that I lived really high up. He also thought I lived in the mountains. I must be a prairie girl.  Well, I am headed off to market to buy groceries for the week. Have a great week, all my friends!

Chazon- a Place of Vision

This has been a good week here in Molo. It has been a busy week adjusting to life and seeing the town and learning about life here. I worked at the school a couple days and met the teachers and students. Now the challenge is to learn 200 names!

Lucy and Samwel, the directors of the school, have graciously welcomed me into their house and I am overwhelmed with how well they take care of me. I love learning from them and learning how to do life here. Being in a home, rather than a volunteer among other volunteers, means that I get to learn to cook and clean African style, which I am looking forward to. Lucy has shown me all the places she shops in Molo so I can go on my own and buy milk (which is bought daily since there is no refrigerator)or meat (you only buy from people you trust because the meat hangs in a window until it is sold) or go to the general store to pick up bread. This may sound like a small thing, but at WWB, I was always with someone else and there was a general distrust of whoever you don't know. Here, Lucy and Samwel pastor a church and run a school and are working to build up their community. They share with me their vision and their struggles and encourage me to get out and get to know people. It is such a different feel. I already feel more at home here after one week than I did after a month. It probably helps that I am used to the culture already since I have been in Kenya for almost three months. While this week has been spent adjusting and a little bit of teaching, from now on, I will be doing more work at Chazon Children's School, which is a school started by Lucy and Samwel.

Chazon, which means vision in Hebrew, is a school for street children in the town of Molo. To understand the school, you need to know a little of the story of Molo. From what I understand, the lands surrounding Molo were some of the hardest hit by the violence that ensued after the elections in 2008. You cannot be in Kenya long without hearing about this violence. Thousands of people were displaced and many people fled their farms and ended up in Molo. Leaving a farm means leaving a food source for many people. Poverty on a farm still can grow a little beans or maize, but to take that poverty and move to town means taking away your food supply. This is what happened to many families during the tribal clashes over land and the violence that came in 2008. This influx of families and people (I think sometimes even just the children would come to town) brought an increase in needy children- many who were at risk of being in the streets or were already in the streets and needing rescuing.

You also cannot understand Chazon without knowing Lucy and Samwel's story. They ran a popular restaurant in town for many years. As time went on, more and more children from the street were coming and asking them for food. Finally, they decided to do something about it. They closed down their business and separated the restaurant into shops that now provide a small amount of income for them, which they use to pay the teachers at the school. They sold several of their land investments to build a school and the started out. They have literally given up almost everything financially but will say loud and clear that these children are worth it. Providing and education to these children (and hopefully many more through the years) is more fulfilling to them than making money and running successful businesses.

They are such an example to me and other volunteers that come. Their vision is contagious and there are many volunteers wanting to spend time here this summer. It is so great to see change happening in children's lives and in their families by helping out with the schooling of their children.

I am looking forward to learning to cook now that I am living with a family. So far I have learned to make tea and ugali- both staples for life here.

Enjoy your part of the world wherever you are. Here at the equator, God is good and life is fun.

The Next Part of the Journey

Hello everyone! It feels like forever since I wrote anything on here! After my crazy matatu ride I spent two weeks in Nairobi. One week I was with a family that was involved in the Cerebral Palsy Society of Kenya. I visited the clinic that is held three times a week that helps children. It is hard to put into words how hard life is for families struggling with poverty and a child severely affected by CP. For example, there are many mothers in the slums who need to work all day just to get enough food to feed their children each day. If you add to that a child who can’t feed themselves, go to the toilet, or communicate easily- the task of the day is enough to overwhelm you! The clinic provides free therapy for the children, but there is so much more that needs to be done. They are working to create an awareness of the issues surrounding CP and training mothers and families.

If anyone wants to support them financially (which is their biggest need), let me know and I will hook you up with the director.

The second place blew me away! I was so impressed with the Children’s Garden Home, which is on the outskirts of Nairobi. It is a home started by Moses and Silvia. They take children from the slums close to them or whoever else is in need. Right now, there are 350 children under their care- 200 or so of them live there and 150 of them come for the day for school and go home to their guardians. The kids are given opportunity to pursue spiritual dance, cultural dance, music, art, sports, etc. One of the boys is the top guitarist in Kenya. Their office is lined with awards from a variety of venues- artistic, academic, and discipline. But more impressive than that is the heart of Moses and Silvia. As a volunteer, I ate meals with them, their family and some of the staff and I felt so welcome and enjoyed! For once, I didn’t feel like the best thing about me was my money! I really felt like I found a friend who was doing something that I could join in with. It is wonderful.

There are a lot of needs for the CGH. They have 60 boys sleeping in an area a little bigger than my living room. They have started a school that goes from Kindergarten to Grade 10 right now, but will need to expand to Grade 11 and 12 in the next couple years. They don’t have money to pay their staff sufficient wages (from what I understand) so they depend on people who have a heart for the kids, skills to teach and don’t need a lot of money. They have adults being the mom to each room of kids (which is often about 20 kids per room) who are in charge of the laundry and all the other thing that goes with having kids. They have a social worker who is really overworked because she takes the kids to the hospital, to court, to counseling, etc.

It is an amazing challenge to take children who have seen and lived stories that are sometimes too awful to think of and to help rehabilitate them be loving, caring people- but that is what I saw happening and it was beautiful.

Once again, the biggest need right now is money. They can’t take more kids without money to feed the kids that they have. They almost have their water problem fixed- they had a fundraiser on the weekend to raise money for pipes or something. I would love to help find sponsors for the kids, construction projects or for salaries for the staff. So, if anyone wants to donate, let me know and I will try and help facilitate that.
I have figured out that one problem with visiting more than one project is that I can’t help them all as much as I want to. So far, I am really excited about my new place in Molo- I feel like I have a family away from Canada. This morning I was feeling great when I got to church and even greater afterwards. The women were so welcoming and greeted me with the greeting that they use for good friends. This afternoon I went to a shower for a lady who just had a baby and just felt like I was part of it all. It was fantastic.

But this is long enough so I will tell you all about Molo and the Chazon Children’s Center later on.

From a Peopled out Introvert

Hello all! So, personal space and quiet time are challenging things with a roommate and 33 kids around anytime you leave your room, so I am definitely feeling my introvertedness right now! My brain is tired from all the communication work. But that is okay- life here is good!

So, I have started a new chapter of life in Kenya and it is great so far! Yesterday, Stella (my roomie and friend) decided to head into Nairobi a day early to hang out with a volunteer stranded in a hotel since her flight couldn't leave on Sunday morning. We were so excited to be clean! We got dressed up and went out for supper and bought a bunch of snacks and had a great time. We are now staying with a family in Nairobi for a week and then heading to an orphanage on the slums of Nairobi. Stella and I are hoping to try and get around a bit by ourselves and explore places while we are here. I don't think I would ever try by myself since I am so directionally challenged, but between the two of us, I think we will have fun.

After the two weeks in Nairobi, I am planning to head to another area of Kenya and work in a school for orphans that is there. I have emailed previous volunteers and they assure me that it is not as remote as I had heard and they loved their experience.

On a less details level, I have been thinking a lot about the different way that Kenyans treat each other. There is a respect for individuality that I can't really put in words. Some days I think it is the best thing since margarine on bread, but other days it drives me nuts! There are so few expectations on who you are- there are expectations on what you do in terms of doing chores or something, but who you are is just accepted. There is a child who cries all the time at WWB and the response is 'Oh, that is okay, that is just her way.' Not like they don't care or anything, just that they are not judging her or trying to make her change or something. There is a child who whines all the time and the only person who got frustrated at the whining was me. I can't quite find words to describe it, but I wish I could bottle it up so that you could all experience it for yourself. I think that it is definitely something that would fix a lot of the brokenness in the western culture.

I had the most interesting matatu ride yesterday- sheesh, those things make me nervous sometimes. There was a fight between a lady and the conductor about change and I thought for sure someone was going to get hurt. After that was solved, the men around me assured me everything was okay (I wonder how often I look confused). The man beside me chatted for awhile. And then all of the sudden, we were stopped at the edge of Nairobi and all told to get out. My luggage was unstrapped from the roof (I have left WWB for good so have everything for five months with me) and Stella and I looked at each other and said "HUH?" Apparently the driver didn't want to head into Nairobi because of the bad traffic, which would cut into his profit. I had no idea where we were or where I needed to go because the Matatu was supposed to drop us off at a spot I knew and then I would be able to find the Hotel. Thankfully, Kenyans are fantastic and very friendly. The man I sat beside and the man behind me took me, my luggage (largest, stupidest, clumsiest piece for mud roads and small spaces!) and Stella and got us on another matatu and escorted us to our hotel. What would I do without friendly people?! I find that most people here are really nice and really willing to help, although some treat me a little like a freak show.

Anyways, that is enough writing for me. I forgot to post a quote I found in a newspaper that cracked me up (the writing, not the situation). here it is

"They fell asleep drunk, and woke up dead." Ahhh.... gotta love newspapers.

Anyways, that is all for now.

A Quick Update

Hi Everyone! So I was supposed to be finished on the internet in two minutes so this will be a quick update. I found out this week that I will be leaving the orphanage where I am at on April 20th- Yikes! I had understood that I had until the end of April, possibly even the end of May, but this week the director sat down with me and said that my time is up on the 20th and I couldn't stay any longer because he had other volunteers coming. Well, that did not go over well with me. He proposed two places for me to go- but unfortunately with the language barrier, sounded more like commanding rather than offering suggestions. I was just a little stressed! Plus I have no internet access so I couldn't find out anything about where he wanted me to go! I think if I would have talked to anyone from home, I would have cried! But then I realized that I could do this. I have come to Kenya on my own and didn't actually want to stay at this orphanage anyways. So after a frantic text to Tam and then time to calm down and engage my brain, I told myself to stop freaking out and then I was fine. So its all good :)

I don't know yet where I am going to be for the next three and a half months. I have three options that I know of and am trying to figure out. I am currently in Nairobi visiting an organization that works with kids with cerebral Palsy- which really tugs at my heart. I am not sure how useful I would be able to be, though, so I am not sure what to do because I get bored quickly. Another option is heading to an area that, according to staff, is extremely remote (like not even cell phone coverage!) where I would work in another children's center and teach for three months. Teaching the younger kids does not appeal to me at all because they don't speak enough english, but maybe I could teach the older kids. Another option is an orphanage in Nairobi, which is right on the slums and also has a school. Too bad teaching just isn't really exciting to me right now. :)

So that is where things are at. I have no idea what I am going to do or how often I will be able to update this.

On a different note, some highlights this week were

taking some kids home to visit their grandma... which included taking me, two kids and a driver on a motorcycle :)gotta love the motorcycle

discovering that there are tarantulas here.... in my shower

eating bananas- I have eaten more bananas in the last two weeks than in the last 15 years!

spending time with volunteers from South Korea, Germany, Texas, California, and England- lots of fun!

But my time is up and everyone else is ready to go. Gotta run!!

The Fun of Communication

Do you ever have it where you are speaking words and phrases but the message just isn't getting through? Or where you understand the words and phrases of someone else, but it just doesn't make sense? Welcome to my world! I often just have to laugh at the lack of my ability to communicate things here- especially details! The staff all speak English to varying degrees, but there still seems to be a pretty big understanding gap going both ways. One thing I have figured out is that when they don't hear something, they say 'Yes.' So now, whenever I get a yes, I repeat myself. I wonder how many times the are completely puzzled by my responses to what they say... ahhhh... what fun. This past week, I have been trying to get details about upcoming volunteers because I just like to know stuff. I like to know who and what and when and all those details even if it doesn't matter- I just like to know! Well, at first, I thought they were coming last week. But none showed up. Then I heard that there was going to be two couples but they were really young. One couple showed up from California, but they aren't really young. Then I heard that I would have a roommate and I got a roommate from Germany (really nice lady! So far we have hit it off great!). She has joined my pursuit of finding out about the mysterious volunteers that are coming. We were told yesterday that one more volunteer was coming today. Then today, we found out it was three. Then today, two showed up! Lol. And it wasn't a couple and a male, which I thought it was- it was two more girls. From what I understood, all the volunteers were going to be here for two months, but so far four of them are here for two weeks. Stella tried asking more about it today and came back to the room and laughed because she had no idea what information was just communicated. I guess I will just have to learn to just go with the flow a bit more. I have learned that some already, but I obviously have more to go.

As I mentioned, I have been joined by more volunteers. Right now there are a married couple from California, my roomie, Stella, from Germany, someone from South Korea and one from London (I think). I think it will be fun to have more people here. There already seems to be more gel between this group of volunteers than the ones that were here when I got here.

Not much is new with me. This week, I start teaching the older orphanage kids for four hours a day. I am going to focus on literacy, ESL, and math, all of which I love. Because the kids are on a month of holidays, there is no curriculum to follow (they just don't want the kids idle) and I get to do whatever I want as long as it somehow relates to what they learn in school. I already have my daily structure in place and I start on Monday.

I will probably head to Nairobi on Tuesday to go clothes shopping for the kids, but other than that, this week will be fairly normal.

The end of my two months at this orphanage is coming up so I am starting to think of what to do next. The director at the orphanage thinks that volunteers should stay for a maximum of two months and then he gets them to volunteer at other places. I have mixed feelings about the whole situation, but I am sure I will figure something out. I think I have until the end of April at least.

Well, I am feeling like I have nothing to say today. Probably because I have been having conversations with people this week in English rather than just in my head so I don't have stored up conversations to tell you all about.

Happy Easter to you all! and have a good week.

Matatus and Motorbikes

Have I mentioned my new found love of motorcycle rides? I am quite fond of that form of public transportation… which is odd because I consider them completely unsafe in Canada and question their necessity. But here, I think they are maybe even the preferred method of transportation for me, especially after my Matatu (a van with seats for 15 which has held up to 30 on my count) experience today. But I just gave you the beginning and the end of my day today, so I should fill in the details a little.

Today, Eric (the person who goes around and finds children to sponsor as well as organizing stuff) and I headed off to a remote area where he has been working to collect more sponsor kids. I have previously been to a school in a town called Mithini, which is quite a ways from ‘home.’ Today we went even farther than that. Since it is remote, there are not a lot of Matatus headed in that direction so after waiting for a good long time, we accepted one of the motorcycle drivers offer to take us there at a good price. Imagine totally safety conscious me getting on a small, oldish motorcycle, in a skirt, squashed between two grown men… and enjoying the ride. Granted, I was fairly tense because I didn’t want my body to throw the balance off or anything like that. I was sitting close enough to the driver that if I looked forward, my nose touched his helmet- so I just kept looking at either side and enjoying the scenery. He only had one helmet, which he wore, just to let you know. The scenery was gorgeous, by the way.

We got off and started walking towards our destination. (Having a fairly poor sense of direction at the best of times, I have no idea where we were or where we were going in comparison to where we were so I can’t give you too many details.) On the way, we met up with Pastor Peter Ndungu (I think that is what it was) who was the contact Eric had made who was from the area and helping Eric make contact with the neediest children’s families. He quickly offered or agreed to come with us for the day and off we went. He was quite the guide and took me to see caves and a huge rock where it is believed all the monkeys came from- too bad there were no monkeys though. It felt really good walking with the three of us- kind of like three old friends even though I hardly know either of them.

The point of the trip today was to take me to see two families how are living very difficult lives so Pastor Peter brought us there. The first home was the home of a grandma who lived with her two grandchildren. She lived in a mud house with a thatch roof. When we got to her place, we found her working in the area around her place where maize and beans are planted. You know, she didn’t strike me as impoverished. I can’t quite describe it. For sure she lacked money and resources. For sure she does not get enough vitamins, minerals, and probably calories in her diet. For sure she is lacking- but there was just a warmth and acceptance and graciousness that she exuded (as do many of these people) that made it so that her poverty didn’t strike me. I can’t quite explain it. She seemed happy. In a mud hut. Working all day every day barely making it by- she seemed more at peace than myself, my family, my community or most people I rub shoulders with in Canada. I am hesitant to even say that I didn’t see her as impoverished, because I know she was, but it is more complicated than that. She had so much to teach me, it felt like. Since Eric had told me about where were going, I had time to throw together some stuff that I had in my room that I didn’t need that I thought might be useful to her or her kids. It was pencils, notebooks, socks, little things like that. She was so grateful (according to the translation) and told me to please come again and the corn and beans would be ready.

Life is hard for this lady. She does not own land, and that makes you very vulnerable here. She is squatting with her family on government land where they raise their animals and plant their small crops, but she could get evicted at any time. She lives on the side of a large hill (I might almost call it mountain, but that is probably because I live in the prairies so anything bigger than a ditch seems like a mountain :) ) Where the only way up is a footpath winding between trees and rocks. So I imagine her with a sick child. There is no place even for a wheelbarrow to travel so if her child was sick, she would have to carry him. She is a small lady- about my size. I don’t know where her water came from. I didn’t see any near by places to find water. Her house, that she shares with at least two children, is about the size of two of my upstairs bathrooms. Her kitchen is a couple of five gallon pails. Her belongings could probably fit into those pails… and she seemed at peace.

On to the next part we went, which was actually when we went to see the monkeys. After the monkeys we headed to the second family. Once again, a grandmother was taking care of her grandchildren. She had nine who lived at home, although three were at boarding school during the term. We were there because WWB is hoping to sponsor the two youngest ones who are preschool age. As well as being older, taking care of her livestock (I saw a cow, a couple goats, chickens and chicks), taking care of nine grandchildren and everything that entails, her husband also has some mental issues which makes him run away every once and awhile. At least some of her grandchildren are orphaned, if not all, meaning that she has lost her children. Her face was all smiles when she saw us and right away got us a seat. I had some more stuff to give, which I got Eric to give because I want to stay away from the ‘white person brings stuff’ mentality, and somehow I ended up with a bag of fresh oranges in my back pack. I had gone to give and once again been given to. She was going to send one of the kids to buy us snacks, but the men convinced her not to.

She also told us of another child who just lost mother and father. It seems like the community really looks out for each other. You hear from this person about this situation and then there you get another lead and so on. It seems like what community is supposed to be. So we went to find another family with five children younger than four, one of who was a nephew of the lady. He had just lost both his parents.

After that, we decided to head back- which is good because I was getting hot and tired! We stopped to refresh at the pastor’s home and he showed me pictures of his life and I ended up with a bag of passion fruit- which is a new found love of mine as well. Then came a long, hot walk back to Mithini. Eric and I are starting to figure out how to converse enough that we can have good conversations and it is really interesting to hear how he thinks about things in Kenya and stuff. It is nice to have a friend here.

After stopping at a restaurant for chapatti and beans, we mounted a matatu, which I am also thrilled to say we safely dismounted as well. The driver was crazy! He was driving really fast to start with and the roads are not maintained for fast driving! Then, while picking up a passenger, another matatu passed us. Well, that was not okay! All of the sudden we were careening around corners, causing children to jump off the road in fear as we flew by and trying to manuever around the matatu in front of us. At one point the front matatu moved to the side of the road, at which point the driver whipped around him, floored it, and almost hit a motorcycle! There was a kid in the van who was crying because he was so scared! I was so not impressed. I was looking for a complaint phone number to call or something, but, alas, there was none. Sheesh! I have never been so close to being in an accident with another vehicle!

But this is too long again… I think I am becoming verbose without people here who fluently speak my language. Hope you are all well and enjoy the Easter season.

A New Hairdo, Sponsor Day, etc.

Hello Everyone!

To start off, thank you all for reading this. I am surprised at how many people actually read what I write! I am not much of a blog reader and am pleasantly surprised that my writings are for an actual audience.

This last week has been fairly uneventful. I did the regular laundry, helping in the kitchen, helping on the computer (stupid thing has a pesky virus that I can’t get rid of!) and teaching the younger kids in the evening. I am trying to live as Kenyan of a lifestyle as I can rather than a Canadian lifestyle in Kenya. Quite honestly- it is a challenge! I am not used to not having cupboards of food to snack on any time I want. Here, they eat three meals a day. And that is about it. During mango season, which is just finishing, I could eat fruit throughout the day. Now there really isn’t anything. I miss my snacks. From my assessment, I am not lacking in calories or vitamins or anything so I don’t need anything… but it is very tempting to go and buy a samosa or a mendazi (which is pretty much fried dough- mmmmm).

One exciting thing that happened this week is that I got my hair done. I figured that spending money on my hair totally fit in with the culture so I headed to the salon to get my hair braided. I explained what I wanted and got something relatively close to it. I now have 33 tiny French braids in my hair. They were so tight it hurt to smile! I was sitting in the chair, trying not to move my scalp because it really hurt if I did, but then some muscle would move and my scalp would be pulling. But I didn’t know what muscle moved my scalp so I tried to concentrate and moving my scalp muscles, only to make it worse! Eventually I figured out that raising my eyebrows helped a little. It has loosened up now and is fun to have. It feels really cool.

On Friday, the kids all got new clothes. It seems like a big job to keep track of what all the kids have and don’t have and try to match that with clothes that are sent or left by volunteers. They work really hard to have accurate records of what they are given and what they give out. So, I tried to help, but eventually decided that I was more of a hindrance than a help and just watched. This week I am hopefully going to the biggest market in Kenya with two of the staff to buy clothes that we didn’t have for the kids. I am looking forward to getting out of the orphanage for a day and seeing more things. The clothes are sold garage sale style sort of. The markets are make shift booths made of sort of fit together wood and bags and whatever. The clothes are apparently second hand clothes intended for Tanzania aid, but are somehow sold to Kenya and then sold in the market. I am not sure how accurate that is or where the clothes are actually from.

On Saturday was sponsor kid day. That means that all the sponsor kids who do not live at the orphanage but are provided by the orphanage come and pick up their months supplies. Last month they got a sack of corn meal (I think that is what it was), 7 crayons, a pencil, shoes, clothes, soap, toothpaste, toothbrush and pens. These supplies are paid for by individual sponsors around the world- similar to the more well known World Vision or Compassion International. This month they got clothes, soap, tooth stuff, stickers, hotel bars of soap, a little toy (like one from McDonalds), beans and maize from government relief or something, Vaseline for their hair and a pack of 24 crayons! We found out last minute (actually after last minute because we were supposed to start at 10, but got the call after 10 to use up more of the supplies in the store room).

The whole process is an interesting one. The room, although filled with at least 50 kids plus some adults is almost silent to start. They sit and wait patiently, even though we are late in starting and even when we do start, it is a long process to get going. Once we have everything sorted (it is challenging to take a bunch of random stickers and make 50 relatively equal groups!) and ready to go, we call up one or two at a time to pick their pile of stuff and sign their name. I think that they are trying to promote ownership in the children or something because they sign their name for everything they get. Once the first round of supplies was distributed, we took out large luggage pieces filled with clothes and sorted those according to size and called up everyone again to take their stuff. The whole process took about 5 hours but no one acted as though they were in a hurry or like it was taking too long. People are much more used to waiting and being patient than I am.

Another thing I noted was how thrilled the kids were with their new stuff. If you think of it- they didn’t really get a whole lot that we would consider exciting. Hygiene products don’t usually make little kids happy. But their enjoyment of their supplies and their new McDonalds toy brought so many smiles and shining eyes. I would of loved to be able to capture the moment with a picture, but as soon as I take out my camera, the moment is over.

Well, I think that is all for today. Some day soon I want to talk about the energy it just takes to be alive in a place like this, but I think I will wait until I have visited a family who lives at the top of the hill- which should happen this week. Then I think I will really have a better sense of the harsh realities of poverty.

Saturday Happenings

I watched some kids with fascination today and thought I would share it with you. Saturdays are a day mixed with fun and work. Today started out wet- very wet. And then it continued to rain most of the morning. After trying unsuccessfully to rid this computer of viruses, I organized some simple activities for the children to do in the dining hall area. I found puzzles, crayons, paper stencils and some books. The kids were thrilled. Children up to 10 we enjoying doing hello kitty puzzles and reading simple fiction books. It is amazing how the simple pleasures in life are enjoyed more then they are not considered the norm. All of the sudden the place started emptying out and all of the kids from Gr 1-6 headed out to the farm to plant. I was quite glad to stay with the Kindergarten kids and not get muddy. For fun, they spent 15-20 minutes copying out a hand made hundreds chart. They were so thrilled to be writing down numbers and excitedly showed me every couple minutes. I have yet to find a child who does not get excited about a paper and pencil. It is quite different than having to work really hard to get kids in my class to write notes or even just write anything!

I walked around the yard, checking what the kids were keeping themselves busy with and found three of the younger ones sitting perched on five gallon pails full of water. Of course, one of them was attempting to almost fall over, but they just sat there. Then an older child came with a scrub brush and scrubbed the legs and feet. A couple feet away were three boys sitting in the shade intently working with something. I walked a little closer and found a model of a van put together with sticks and mud. It had wheels that moved on their axis, an antennae, windows and all sorts of other incredible details considering it was made out of mud! Another boy was sitting with two long corn stalks and a five gallon pail lid. Later, I saw that he had found a nail or a stick and pierced the stalks on each side of the pail and ran around the yard guiding his stick with the two stalks.

The older girls did their laundry and directed the younger girls cleaning up their case of clothes. It is amazing that they all know whose clothes belong to who! Then, from what I can understand, some of the older girls took some of the younger girls into the shower stall with a pail of cold water and got them very clean (and very cold!). Meanwhile, the boys were getting dirty. The animal manure that is used for bio gas ends up in a holding tank that is emptied onto the garden and the field. They have a large drum (maybe 25 gallons) that they fill up by scooping out pails of poo and putting them in the drum. During the week, this job is done by the guy who does all the chores and manages the farm. Today, the oldest boy was on poop duty and had a crowd of about eight younger boys helping. The large drum is kept on a cart that is set up to be pulled by the bull, but seems to be pulled by people more often. Once the drum was full, the oldest boy arranged the younger boys along the side and he tried to pull the thing. I put two little boys on the back of the cart to make it a little easier and they loved it- while I cringed at the thought of poop splashing all over them! It was great to see them all work together to get past large rocks without spilling. They seem to enjoy work as much as play. It is all a matter of living life together and having fun regardless of whether you are planting seeds, spreading poo, cleaning your room, doing dishes, making supper, colouring, studying or whatever.

Although days like this leave me with a little too much free time and feeling a little out of place because I am not part of this routine, I love to watch the kids direct themselves, get jobs done, laugh together and enjoy life. It is inspiring.

Insulated Houses

This has been a blog that has been a long time in coming. It has been long enough that I have composed and recomposed it enough times in my head so I no longer remember whether or not I have already written some of this in another blog. :)

One of the first things I noticed here is the vulnerability of the Kenyans to the weather. I particularly noticed it doing the laundry. As you can imagine, washing clothes by hand and ringing them out on a sunny day is a lot of work. Add to that rain and humidity and it feels like quite the futile effort! I was excited this past Sunday because I washed my laundry and all the clothes dried fast enough that they didn’t smell musty! There is no shelter to hang the clothes when it is raining. The simple fact of life is that when it rains, your laundry gets wet. I got to thinking about how at home, it didn’t matter what the weather was- I could always do laundry and get clean, warm, nice smelling clothes.

This train of thought continued onto the housing. Houses here are made from a variety of materials. I have seen shacks that look like the next big wind might just blow them over. I have seen houses that look like pieces of flattened metal paint cans nailed onto wooden posts. I have seen houses made of cinder with a tin roof. But one thing that each of these houses has is that there is no insulation. There are the basic walls to keep things out and in as necessary, but there is not the layers of ‘protection’ that we have from outside. There are no three paned glass windows that seal out the heat or cold depending on the weather. In the cold, wet season, they are cold and sometimes wet. In the hot season, they are hot. It is just a fact of life. Whatever the weather is, that is what you will experience. I think when I get home and turn up my thermostat, it will be a different feeling because I know that there are friends of mine who are cold and all they can do is pile on more blankets if they have extra. [Now, probably some of you are getting confused because I am talking about cold and Kenya in the same paragraph, but it does actually get cold here- I have worn a sweater on several occasions and when I wear a sweater, then the Kenyans are most definitely feeling the cold as well.]

But this is a fairly shallow sense of insulation. My train of thought actually has gone way past that into making some hopefully extremely uncomfortable statements about our life in the west. I think that we all live in insulated houses, in insulated worlds and often we fight to keep it that way. The last time I heard the numbers, 20% of the world was consuming %80 of its resources while that leaves %80 of the world to use the other %20. Stop for a moment and let that sink in. If you are like me (and I think the fact that you are reading this blog makes for a good chance that you are) you are definitely placed in that top 20%! Actually, probably somewhere closer to the top 5 or 10%. Let that sink it- it took me a couple years to really get it. You are being greedy in how you live your life. Your lifestyle is costing someone else. Possibly to the extent where your lifestyle is costing someone else their life. Think about the richest person in the world… the wealth comparison between them and you is less of a gap than the gap between you and much of the world. That is how wealthy you are.

But we don’t like to hear that. We write people who tell us this off as fanatics or really not getting our hearts because we really do try our best and we work hard for our money so we deserve it and, besides, we wouldn’t want to enable them or anything like that so what more can we do. We insulate ourselves from feeling the helplessness and sometimes hopelessness that can creep in when we realize the situation of our fellow humans around the world. We don’t like to feel uncomfortable and so we don’t.

And I am no exception. I don’t like it that people here keep asking me to find sponsors for, or to sponsor, the kids. I have even met the kids and it still makes me squirm. They don’t know I am unemployed, I tell myself and put up my one layer of insulation. I have to plan for the future- who knows what will happen! Another layer of insulation. Besides, the problem is so big- what could I do? And there is a third layer of insulation so that I can look at the face of a child and not feel pain when they tell me that their mother died when they were young, their father has never been around, and their grandmother who they live with, has no employment. I can write down the facts and move on to the next story. But wait a minute! This is a child. This is a child the same age as my sister! What if that was Taylor standing there talking to someone and telling them that she had no food. She had no assurance of affording her school uniform, let alone buying regular clothes or thinking about the long term future. I would hope that her story would get through the layers of insulation around people and make them see her and do something. I would want Taylor to have a care free childhood- one that wasn’t focused on getting food and water for tomorrow. But if life had it that Taylor were not my sister and was a Kenyan (or someone from many other parts of the world)- would I see her? Would I feel her need and would it break my heart?

My garbage can in my room is full. The fact that I have a garbage can is odd because garbage is something that is only starting to come into this country. I have been thinking about how much garbage I am making here as well as how much at home. It is a sign of how much I am consuming. I think it is normal to use so many resources because that is all I know. That is what everyone does. We drive cars, build really big houses, acquire a lot of needs and then spend a lot of time seeking to fulfill those needs. Getting away from all that gives a different perspective and understanding. Having a favorite food is a luxury! If you have eaten enough of a diversity of food to have a favorite- Wow! Or even if you have say in what you eat and it isn’t driven by what is cheapest and will make you feel fullest without hunger pangs, then Wow! We have favorite colors. We want our shirts to fit just so and then suddenly don’t like them when they are ‘out of fashion.’ We think entertainment is a legitimate thing to spend a whole bunch of money on. And the list goes on. We consume without thought. And there goes that chunk of world resources down our various tubes…

This topic is so big in my mind. There are so many injustices in the world in terms of resource use and the consequences of that, but those with the resources and therefore the power care so little. We tithe (good ole’ 10%) but if we really felt the pain of those in need, how could we justify using the enormous 90% that is left? Ack! It feels like I am mumbling and bumbling around something that just isn’t coming out. I wish I had unlimited internet so that I could research what your access to resources could do!

I found a quote in a book I read (which quoted this quote) that really struck me as pertaining to this and rather bold and challenging.

To believe in God is to believe in the salvation of the world. The paradox of our time is that those who believe in God do not believe in the salvation of the world, and those who believe in the future of the world do not believe in God.

Christians believe in “the end of the world,” they expect the final catastrophe, the punishment of others.

Atheists in their turn… refuse to believe in God because Christians believe in him and take no interest in the world…

Which is the more culpable ignorance?

… I often say to myself that, in our religion, God must feel very much alone: for is there anyone besides God who believes in the salvation of the world? God seeks among us sons and daughters who resemble him enough, who love the world enough so that he could send them into the world to save it.

Louis Evely, In the Christian Spirit (Image, 1975)

Another quote that I came across this morning from Richard Rohr is

Brothers and sisters, the irony is not that God should feel so fiercely; it’s that his creatures feel so feebly. If there is nothing in your life to cry about, if there is nothing in your life to yell about, you must be out of touch. We must all feel and know the immense pain of humanity. The free space that God leads us into is to be able to feel the full spectrum, from great exaltation and joy, to the pain of mourning and dying and suffering. Then we are no longer isolated, but a true member of the universal Body of Christ.


For the sake of the rest of the world and because it is wrong, bad, harmful or whatever other negative word that you can think of, to do otherwise, become aware of what is insulating your life. Refuse to not see. Refuse to be okay with injustice. Be uncomfortable! There is so much that each of you can do (and that includes my old students who are reading this even though you are young!). If the tables were flipped and you were part of the 80% with 20% of the world’s resources, how would you want someone to respond?

Internet issues

Just a side note- thanks for those who are commenting- I love to hear your thoughts and reactions and know that people are reading this. Also, for those who are emailing, I am having internet problems right now. My internet stays connected for about 8 seconds before quitting. This makes it hard to do anything! It took me about ten connections to post the last blog and emailing you back is impossible. Hopefully this will get fixed within the week.

A Day in the Life…

I have been here long enough to get a little sense of what life is like here. At least, I know what my experience of it is and will tell you that as long as you don’t read this and imagine me knowing everything about how all of Kenya is. :)

My day starts around 7 when I wake up and do the whole brush your teeth, get dressed, etc. stuff. I do the same stuff I do in Canada, it just takes a little more time. I get drinkable water to brush my teeth from the tap by the kitchen and then head to the ‘spitting rock’ which is where all the kids brush their teeth and spit out the toothpaste. The washrooms are close to the spitting rock, but I need to bring my own toilet paper and soap with me to them because there isn’t any in them. Have I told you about the toilets yet? I don’t think so. Imagine an outhouse. Now take away the toilet seat. Now take away the wooden structure that you sit on and all that is left is a hole in the ground. The ground is cement and cleaned regularly, which is good because let’s just say using a hole in the ground is a learning process. After all that is done, I walk the nursery kids to school in the village close to here. They walk super slow and banter and bicker and I generally have no idea if they are fighting or just talking, but usually they are happy by the time we get there and we haven’t been late as far as I know. Then comes breakfast, which is bread and chai. The beginning of my day is pretty much the same every weekday.

Between 8:30 and 9:30, depending on what I am doing, I will start my work for the day. I am rotating my time between helping in the kitchen or with laundry, working in the local school (where I cause quite a disturbance), and doing field work (which is traveling around the community checking on sponsored kids and making sure they are doing well).

I am usually back at the orphanage between 1 and 3, at which point I have lunch. My afternoons are usually spent doing whatever I want and preparing for teaching in the evening. Kids start getting off school around 3pm. At 6:30, kids are all expected to be doing homework or learning. I have asked to teach the youngest ones because they rarely have homework and I thought it would be an opportunity to make a little difference. I have 16 students between Kindergarten and Gr. 2. They are taught in English at school so sometimes they understand me. They do not listen to me at all at this point, and I don’t really blame them. With volunteers coming and going regularly (and often being referred to as volunteers rather than there names) if they listen to the ramblings of all these adults, it would be confusing. But… they will need to learn to listen. They are super eager to learn and just giggle when they get to do work that is a little hard but still manageable. I told three girls to write out the number words for 15 through 21 and they collapsed on the floor in giggles! Not sure why, but I will take it as a good sign. The orphanage manager is extremely positive about my work and I enjoy being able to teach a small amount without curriculum solely based on development.

Class goes for 90 minutes and supper starts at 8pm. By this time, even though days generally don’t feel productive in my normal sense of the word, I am tired. I help serve the kids and provide guidance where necessary, but I haven’t yet quite figured out what expectations to enforce so I mostly watch. After super, the kids all brush their teeth and then they have a short devotions led by the older children. They read the bible in Kikuyu (their mother tongue) and then English (their official language). They sing a song and say the Lord’s Prayer and then usually they meander their way to bed. The younger ones are almost sleeping by this point and I think the older ones are supposed to be quiet by 9pm. By then, I am ready for bed. Up until now, Tam and I would chat and get ready for bed by around 10, but I guess that since she is gone now, I will have to develop a new routine.

I am hoping to teach the staff here some computer skills. I have already set up one with a gmail account and started him on creating spreadsheets. I was impressed to find him creating his own yesterday- it was rewarding. They have some computers that need to be set up and I am trying to figure out if setting them up using open source software would be a good idea even though most people use Microsoft products. I like the idea that they would be able to have computers set up in Swahili (their national language) and English, but am not sure if getting them used to slightly different operating systems and slightly different programs would hinder them in the long run. Personally, I like the open source stuff but am not sure what to do. I might set up one and see how easy it is for people to use. Once I set up the computers, or someone else sets them up, I am hoping to do a little more teaching of computers, although the orphanage is looking for someone local to teach full time.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of traveling around, which has broken up routine a bit. I have seen two other orphanages and gone to Thika, the closest major town. I also went to market in a town a little further away, which I loved. The market close to here is okay, but it just doesn’t feel the same as the other one. Anyways, this is already long. Enough for now.

Adventures in Travel

I just about got ran over by a donkey today!!!! Tam and I were walking to catch a matatu (bus) and there was a donkey pulling a cart being encouraged (with a shovel to the back) by his owner to run- well, apparently we were a great target. Tam and I moved off the road only to have him continue to head straight for us! Then the owner got him to move over... only after we had jumped back into a pile of thorn bushes. I was pretty excited that I can now say that I was run off the road by a donkey- most people don't get that claim to fame. The matatu that we caught managed to fit thirty people into a twelve passenger van- it was the most crowded that I have been on yet. Fun, fun, fun :)

White Power and Privilege

Something that I started thinking about, and recognizing in Canadian society, is the role of white power and privilege in how our society functions, or in some cases fails to function. The whole concept is something new to me, and therefore difficult to articulate, but I thought that I would try anyways because my power and privilege seems to have followed me here- much to my chagrin.

My basic definition, without being able to look at my notes or readings on the subject that I left at home is as follows. White privilege and power is basically power or privileges that are attributed to one because they are white. For example, in stores throughout the city I am basically trusted. My students who were aboriginal would immediately be watched carefully simply because of the color of their skin. They were in Gr. 3 & 4 at the time and went shopping with their mom. Simply because they weren’t in the north end, where people are used to seeing aboriginals, but rather in another area of the city where prejudice is rampant, they were subject to suspicion. That is a really simple example, but for now, it is what I got.

Once again, I cannot escape being white. Me being white gives me a different status here. I sat and talked with a man who had his masters in something chemistry related and who taught high school in Kenya while I was waiting for some samosas from the small restaurant in a near by town. He was keen to converse and, being a teacher, I was interested in what he taught, etc. He heard I was volunteering at an orphanage and expressed his desire to help with whatever I needed. I suggested that I get him in contact with the orphanage manager, Zac, at which point he lost enthusiasm. Now, I know it could be something else, but it felt like a lot of giving me respect and help simply because I was white, while the Kenyans who actually know what is going on and run this place, do not get the same respect.

I have been asked to speak to people about AIDS/HIV. I know almost nothing about the subject, but they want me to talk to people and tell them that HIV is not a death sentence. The whole country is working hard to decrease stigmatization that comes with the diagnosis as well as combating people just giving up on life when they get diagnosed. Their primary reason for wanting me to speak to people (who I have never met, have no relationship with or anything like that) is because I am white and they will listen to me more than their own doctors. So, part of me wants to say no, I will not speak to them about that because I don’t want to perpetuate the cycle of white people thinking or being always thought to know best. I am white. I know I can’t get away from that. And maybe I don’t even want to. But what do I do with that whiteness? It is like a resource that comes with being my colour that I hardly understand and don’t know how to best use it. I want to somehow use it to deconstruct the whole phenomenon (if that is right word) and build up the Kenyan doctors where they can be the experts in their field. I want to use my power to deconstruct my power so that all around the world there is a level playing field where my ideas don’t carry more weight just because of my skin colour. But then in the mean time, what about those people I could talk to?

The whole white privilege/power thing makes me cautious about giving ideas here at the orphanage as well. You can see remnants of well intentioned volunteers doing things that made sense to them that haven’t continued because they didn’t really fit into things. And I often catch myself trying to solve problems I don’t understand and thinking that I have the solution before understanding the problem and situation. But then, balancing that caution, there are legitimate skills that I have that are rare here that I could pass on. For example, some of the teaching practices that I have learned and practiced could help some of the teachers (in my opinion). But what are the ramifications of that? The teachers that I have talked to are always asking if this is how we do things in Canada and I don’t know how to be honest and give authentic feedback and still honor how they are doing things because they quickly think my way is best.

It is an interesting and challenging thing to balance and I was wishfully thinking that I would be able to leave this one at home… oh well. So the struggle continues.

In the middle of the reality of being assumed to be more able and competent than most people here (rather than actually assessing my competency) things are going well. I am working to carve out a place for myself here and have started teaching the nursery through class 2 (which is the same as K-2). I am not used to the teaching style here or the learning style (a lot of rote) or the language, so it is fairly bumpy so far. The kids are the keenest learners that I have worked with and they eat everything up- from the youngest to the oldest! I was counting by tens today with them and has the nursery trying to keep up and someone in Gr 5 (I think) enjoying doing it with everyone.

Tamara (my sister) and I went to the Maasai Market in Nairobi today and saw some beautiful things. If you ever want to feel wanted and get lots of attention- go to this market. I had so many people greeting me and telling me that, I was so special I would get a good price. People kept telling me to ‘come here’ and my instinct was that I had to listen to all of them. That got old pretty fast and I got a little bolder (or maybe it was ruder) and said ‘no’ a lot of times.

Right now, it is just Tam and I here in terms of volunteers. Tam leaves at the end of the week and then it will be just me until the next volunteers get here- although I don’t know when that will be. I have a whole list of things to write about so I will probably be trying to blog a bit more while I have thoughts percolating so keep checking back. Talk to you later!

Settling In

Well, jet lag is a thing of the past and thankfully only lasted two days. I can’t believe that is only one week since I left Canada, let alone only five days since I got here. I have shifted into this life being ‘normal’ and am enjoying experiencing a new way of life and learning lots.

Each day of the week, volunteers are supposed to sign up to help with various aspects of running the orphanage or working in the community. The scariest one for me is helping out in the garden and farm because I might have to use a machete- I cut myself with small knives at home and I might have to swing this massive knife at fast speeds in the direction of my legs to chop corn for the cattle or something. To me, it seems like a recipe for disaster and infection at this point. I will have to work on getting more courage before I sign up for that one 

I arrived on a Tuesday and on Wednesday entered the pace of life here. Well, sort of entered. Us volunteers are asked to be ready for the day between 8 and 9am while the staff is up at 5:30, kids are at school as early as 7:30 and by the time 8am roles around, the orphanage is filled with staff cleaning, cooking, and getting ready for the kids to come back. So, I guess it would be an exaggeration to say that I entered the pace of life here- I sleep in until 7 usually.

I decided that laundry and me would be a good match for my first day. After four hours of ringing out clothes by hand or with a squeegee thing, I was getting excited to see the large mound of laundry disappearing… only to have another couple loads brought in to wash! I am so impressed the people here. They work so hard and exude peace and joy with life- even while they wash clothes for 35 kids plus bedding every day except Sunday. And clothes get so dirty here! I will have to have a whole blog on the effects of red soil on the way of life. I never imagined how much the colour of soil could affect life.

On Thursday, I signed up for the kitchen, deciding that I didn’t want to see anymore dirty clothes for at least a day. The cook speaks a lot of English so we sat and cleaned lentils and maize for the next days meals while we discussed the effect of stigmatization on people with HIV, the earthquake in Haiti, and way of life in Kenya. She gave me the job of cutting up the pumpkins (they look more like what I think of a squash, but are orange inside). I was working away at peeling off a very hard rind with my little knife but that didn’t work. Then I tried a bigger knife, and as predicted, I cut myself (only a little cut- not to worry) but then I decided that it was probably better to let her do the cutting, at least for now. On a side note, it is amazing what these people can make look easy. Everything looks fluid and smooth and I think to myself ‘I can do that’ and then I try and it is most awkward! I washed my own laundry by hand today and almost ended up spilling an entire bucket of water on me!

On Friday, I went out into the community to do ‘field work.’ Field work consists, from what I understand, of visiting homes and checking on the 59 sponsor kids that do not live at the orphanage, but who get food, and other supplies from here. There is a WWB staff who has a degree in community development who recently took this job who is in charge of keeping track of all those details. I have never walked so much in my life! I think we walked for four hours straight! I was really tired by the end of that. But it was worth it. Eric, the WWB staff, speaks really good English and taught me a lot as we walked. We got to the first house (after over an hour of walking) and found out that the person we went to see was not there. As we walked away, he said that that was the hard part of field work, but it was not good to tell them you are coming because they are so poor and need to be taking care of their needs all the time (getting food, harvesting, etc.) so if you tell them you are coming, they might have to give up another activity that would cost them a meal or bring them closer to a deeper poverty. I was struck by my arrogance in the matter. My initial, unchecked reaction was that they should be so grateful that they were getting money so they could at least put in the effort to be there when they were getting a visit. Eric was much more humble and gracious, understanding the demands of life and realizing the complexity of the situation. I am so honored to be able to be here and learn a completely different way of doing things than I am used to!

Saturday was sponsor day where all of the kids that are sponsored by the orphanage come to the orphanage and write letters to their sponsor, take a picture and get supplies. It was an interesting experience, but this is a long enough post already so I will save that for the next sponsor day- apparently they happen once a month.

I wish I could tell you what it feels like to be here. It is like the extra stresses in life fell off and I am at peace. I can rest- like really rest and not feel guilty for resting kind of rest. But even saying that doesn’t cover it. There is a joy expressed in laughter and fun in the people that is so beautiful. But, like I said, this is long enough. For those of you who are leaving comments asking questions, make sure I have your email address because I can’t respond to your comments, or at least I haven’t found a way to yet. Talk to you later! 

First impressions...

So I arrived in Kenya yesterday morning at 6:30am after 30 hours of traveling and about three hours of naps interspersed between airport terminals and airplane seats. Apparently I can not sleep sitting up no matter how hard I try or how tired I am! Everything went without a hitch and I safely landed in Kenya and was surprised to see a really blonde, white girl waiting for me. It worked out that Tam was able to come to the airport to pick me up, so that was a nice surprise. After a couple stops, we headed out to what is my temporary home- Watoto Wa Baraka.

After a short orientation, of which little information actually entered my head, I tried to unpack and was hit like a ton of bricks with this wonderful phenomenon of jet lag- wow! I finally got at least two hours of sleep and eventually forced myself to get up. To be honest, I felt completely overwhelmed and like I couldn't handle one more piece of information- I was hoping more for overwhelming excitement and energy, but that's okay. I am much better today and trying not to have a nap so that I get into a regular sleeping pattern.

But enough of details about my sleep and travel. This place is amazing. I am super impressed by the thought that goes into how they do life and organize things. The orphanage is working hard to cut costs and increase their sustainability. They have recently gotten pigs and rabbits because of the fast maturation and ratio or babies that come in a year. They plan is to use some of this meat to sell and some of it to increase the amount of meat they can provide to the kids. It is so refreshing to be in a place where making good use of everything is the norm, rather than the exception. Take cow poop for example. The cow poops and it is put in a vat with water which is hooked up to a system that I don't really understand and that creates a bio fuel which is used to make supper. After the poop has given off its gas, it goes into another place where it settles or something and then it is taken to the fields to increase the nutrition of the soil. All of this is done by hand, of course. The yogurt container that came in my luggage full of cookies is now very valuable to me since there isn't a ready supply of organizational containers, dressers or anything else that I am used to.

Being here feels good. There is something holistic about here. I remembered how much I miss this feeling from when I experienced it in Haiti. But I can't really describe it. The things that matter in life become glaringly apparent. Life moves at a pace optimized for psychological health and I haven't seen anyone stressed out yet (except for maybe me after realizing that the laundry pile wasn't done yet after doing laundry for four hours already!). Appearance matters a little, but not like I am used to. Life is just done different here, and it feels good.

I am remembering how much I like speaking the same language as everyone. I was eating with the youngest member of the orphanage- a little 2 year old who is the only one not in school- and he starting picking out his carrots and putting them in my bowl. I thought maybe he was sharing so I took one of my carrots and put it in his bowl- and then he threw it on the floor. So much for my sharing theory. But I didn't know how 'bad' that was on the behavior spectrum, nor did I know how to communicate a 'no' nor did I know who to ask. It leaves me feeling a little lost but thankfully a lot of the kids speak English and those who don't want to learn so some of the kids and I will be able to communicate.

Well, I think that is enough for now. It is no way captures all that is twirling in my head, but it is all that I can find words for right now.

Random, Inspiring Quote

I am reading a book by Brian McLaren titled Everything Must Change- great book (which I am madly trying to finish before I go because it is a library book) and it quoted this quote by Mohandas Ghandi

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems

It made me pause to think how my actions in my day to day rituals go unchallenged because they are 'normal' but what if those actions are effecting someone or something beyond me? What if changing one of them would change the life of someone else or make something better in the world? What if?

Details

So here is what I know

Departure: Feb. 21

Coming back: Beginning of August

The Plan: Work in a children's orphanage 70 km from Nairobi for the first two months. After that, I am going to another area to help start up a youth sponsorship program. The last couple months will be spent in Molo or Nairobi working. I actually don't know a lot of details. For more information about the orphanage, check out http://www.watotowabaraka.org/

Extra details:

For my first three weeks there, I get to enjoy my older sister being with me- she will get there a week before me and be there for a month.

I decided I wanted to go to Africa on January 24th- all the details have quickly fallen into place!

I get to live by mangos and coffee beans!!! Yum!

I will be within two degrees of the equator- bring on the sun(screen)!

Safari Ya Amani

A Journey of Peace in Swahili is (according to the internet) 'safari ya amani' And that is what I hope that this will be- steps forward on my journey of peace. I find that peace is something that so quickly becomes secondary in my life with little (or big) things quickly stressing me out and taking my brain space and my soul space. This is a blog primarily for updating people on life in Kenya for the next six months, but more than that, it is an entry point for friends and family into a journey that I have already been on- a journey of peace.