Compassion Fatigue

A couple years ago, near the time that I quit teaching, my school in conjunction with Inner City Youth Alive hosted a professional development day on Compassion Fatigue. Sorting through my stuff today as I organize myself into my new space, I found the notes that I took and remembered how important this topic is. (Plus, I want to use the notebook for something else so then I want to throw these pages out so if I write them on here, then they are forever immortalized. :) )

Dr. Chris Marchand from Providence College presented based on his thesis. Here are some of the things that I wrote down.

Questions to ask yourself...

... Am I taking care of myself well enough to do this kind of work?
... Do I offer myself the same kind of compassion that I offer to those 'in need'?
... When do I slow down to just sit with the reality of my vulnerability?

I remember hearing those questions and answering no, no and never. It is nice to look at them now and be able to answer yes, yes, and often. I feel like I am building stronger blocks in my structure of life that will serve me better than my last set did.

Compassion fatigues is the natural behaviors and emotions resulting from secondary traumatic stress, which is defined as: the stress associated with helping or wanting to help a traumatized or suffering person resulting in a reduced capacity or interest in being empathetic. Although it may lead to burnout, it can emerge suddenly and without warning. Compassion fatigue can happen in one day without any building up to in. It often presents in the ability to 'shut down' (thoughts, actions, etc.). It is interesting to note that secondary traumatic stress can occur simply though exposure of knowledge. The 'helper' can experience parallel emotional behaviors of the primary trauma survivors. It is important to remember that trauma is contagious if one is not careful.

So what does 'being careful' look like? How do I live a life of loving others in a world full of trauma, pain, unrealistic and unhealthy societal patterns and expectations and still be whole, full and healthy? Here are some things that were suggested at this conference.

1) Be realistic: recognize your superhero tendencies (listen to the language you use).
2) Practice self-awareness: pay attention to yourself, be present in the moment!
3) Set limits on care-giving: Care-giving is a gift you give, not something taken from you.
4) Understand your personal vulnerabilities: What 'ignites' you?
5) Be prepared for disruption of your world view and your theological equilibrium. You will begin to see the world through the eyes of those around you.
6) Refresh: find out what brings your joy and meaning and take ample time to do those things.
7) When you feel stuck, have compassion on yourself and give yourself the time to go slow.

Times have changed for me since I first heard this. I was in the process of burning out, but didn't have the time to do it while teaching so once I quit, the full force of my burn out hit hard. But, I think I am getting better. Better enough to venture back into the classroom- a little at least. I did my first subbing this week at a local high school and had fun doing it. I pretended that I thought the students were doing meaningful work while they pretended to do it and that was okay (the worksheets left for me were uninspiring plus I don't know anything about bromelain, enzymes or collagen!). So for any of you who read about compassion fatigue and it hits home, I encourage you to take care of yourself. The alternative isn't very pretty.